1. Don’t be dependent on anyone

Dependency makes you weak. You can never be confident if you are constantly looking at others to fulfill your basic needs. Try to do your own work as much as possible. Here I am not talking about removing the maid but start doing multitude of everyday tasks that we expect others to do . Simple things like paying bills, filling out forms, getting stuff from the market, booking tickets etc. I have seen many educated people who are unable to fill a simple form or book a ticket. How will you develop confidence if you are unable to do simple, everyday tasks?

Emotional self sufficiency is even more important. Of course we need family and friends and support at times. But many people’s happiness is dependent on their family’s mood. To be confident you need to be emotionally stable. Only then will you be able to deal with life’s challenges.

Self reliance brings tremendous confidence.

2) Do something that you find difficult.

Whether it’s driving in traffic, swimming, healing, keeping quiet, yoga, meditating… Do something that stretches you. It won’t be easy but as you do it and start getting results it will build up your confidence and self esteem.

When everything goes your way, you don’t develop any skills. You simply stay in your comfort zone and stagnate. When I started healing, I got some pretty difficult cases. No doubt I was getting results but I wondered why I was getting such difficult cases in initial stages when I was just a beginner. So I prayed to God .. send me some cases according to my level. After all, I am just a beginner. Right? Result? The next case I got was even more difficult. There was a difference in my outlook and God’s! No choice. I prayed twice more… once , after a few weeks and again after a few months. Same response. I kept getting tougher cases. But those tough cases eventually gave me the confidence to deal with all kinds of cases. A confidence I wouldn’t have developed if I had stayed in my comfort zone.

So, enjoy the challenge!

3) Gratitude 

Before going off to sleep, spend a few minutes going over your day and be thankful for life’s gifts, no matter how small. Focusing on lack will hit on your self esteem. Gratitude will always lift you up. When you feel you have plenty you cannot feel low.

4) Talk to people you don’t like.

Deal with people you find difficult. But do it with poise without losing your cool. Why? It develops equanimity and balance. You’ll realize you have the ability to deal with tough people and tough situations. You won’t be scared of life’s experiences anymore.

5) Be generous

with your things and money. When you realize you have the capacity to help people, it will make you feel empowered.

You don’t have to be a millionaire to give. Small random acts of kindness makes you realize you have the power to change things.

6) Look in the mirror and compliment yourself daily

Always focus on the positive, no matter what the situation. It develops tremendous strength and will power. Appreciate 5 positive things about yourself everyday. Chances are, if they sound false, you’ll make an effort to change it. Whether it’s looks, weight or lack of talent. You cannot be false to yourself. So when you say I am so talented but find you’re not, you’ll start making efforts to develop qualities that make you feel good.

7) Wear good clothes

It’s impossible to feel low when you are smartly turned out.

Do you notice the difference when you are sitting in casual, worn out clothes while sitting at home and all decked up when you invite someone over? Which makes you feel better?

Worn out clothes won’t make you feel like an achiever. How you look affects your sub-conscious mind and here you are telling your sub-conscious mind this is what I am worth.

Be smartly turned out – as often as you can – and notice how you feel.

8) Watch your company

If you spend time with people who criticize or are focussed on negativity around them, you will absorb that quality. Hang out with positive people who will help you focus on your strengths.

If someone is always criticizing he will find faults with you too…. Why are you wearing this,? you should wear blue, not green, why have you put this in your house, etc….
Can you have good self esteem if every imaginary fault is highlighted again and again?

Don’t mix with people who criticize , condemn or are judgmental. When you listen to criticism you are a partner in their negative karma. Is this what you want?

9) Bless people

When you bless people you are sending positive thoughts and vibes and actually implanting these energies in their aura. These seeds will sprout when the time is right.

When you start seeing the results of your blessings you’ll realize the power to mould your life is in your hands.

10) Smile

Paramahansa Yogananda coined the term Smile Millionaire. Pretty Apt! No matter how tough it is, try to be happy. Happiness stems from within and is not dependent on your circumstances. No matter what impression the movies and soaps give! When you’re happy you’ll be better able to deal with life and it’s complexities.

This is a big topic and calls for a separate blog. For now, I’ll just say..It’s difficult to have low self esteem when you are happy.

Enjoy your day šŸ˜Š